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summer when she d been sixteen and Lucien Tremaine had been the center of her world.
She d do everything so differently.
****
Emma and Jane didn t speak much during the short ride home from the disastrous dinner party. Emma gave little thought to Jane s uncharacteristic silence, lost as she
was in her own hurt and disappointment.
Eager to retire for the night so she could contemplate her bleak future, Emma let the butler help her out of her heavy evening cloak. However, before she could head
upstairs, Jane took her by the arm and led her toward the nearest room, a pleasant sitting alcove where a fire burned in the hearth.
I need to talk to you, Jane explained, perching on the edge of a small sofa. It s about Lucien.
Emma own problems receded as she sank into the chair across from Jane. Perhaps a little bit of juicy gossip was exactly what she needed to help her recover from
the pain of knowing all of her mother s dreams were doomed to failure. Tell me everything. I m absolutely dying to know.
I love him, Jane admitted. I ve loved him ever since I was a child.
Oh, Jane, Emma whispered, stunned by the pain in her friend s voice.
Jane shook her head and buried her face in her hands. His country estate bordered my father s. He was eighteen the first time I met him. I m sure you can imagine
how he dazzled my sixteen-year-old country heart. There was such an air of tragedy about him. He d lost nearly all his family in a series of unfortunate accidents, and I
wanted to comfort him.
Emma moved to sit beside her friend and placed a consoling arm around her shoulders. Well, you must have succeeded. I certainly wouldn t describe him as tragic
now.
Jane lifted her head and Emma frowned at the tears that clung to the other girl s lashes. Oh, but he is tragic. He s just grown so much better at hiding it. She
dropped her gaze and twisted her hands in her lap. I m afraid I let him take dreadful liberties, Emma. My only defense is that I loved him so much, I couldn t imagine his
feelings were not as strong as mine.
What happened? Emma s heart ached for the pain Jane had suffered. She wished there was something she could do to help.
Jane drew a deep, shuddering breath. My father died and Lucien didn t seem to know how to be there for me the way I d always been there for him. He distanced
himself, went to London, and before long, I started hearing rumors that he d been courting other women.
Oh, Jane. I m so sorry.
Jane shrugged. I m embarrassed to admit how long I waited for him to come back. Months. Years, perhaps. And now, a decade later, after I was so certain I d
finally gotten over him, here he is, once again in my life. I don t know what he s playing at or why he s pretending a renewed interest in me. Perhaps he just finds it
amusing to tie my heart in knots.
What happened tonight? Emma asked. Did he kiss you?
I think he would have, Jane admitted. I think he wanted to.
But you ran away, Emma guessed, remembering that Jane had returned to the dining room alone.
Of course I ran away. If I d stayed, I might have forgiven him.
Would that really be such a bad thing? It s been a long time. Perhaps he s changed.
Nothing s changed, Jane insisted. He s incapable of loving anyone.
Emma sighed. I fear the same is true of Michael. No wonder the two of them are such good friends.
Jane wiped away her tears. Michael is nothing like Lucien. And he s nothing like his father, either. Surely you can t mean to let the earl s behavior tonight influence
your decision to marry Michael.
Emma shook her head. It s not just the fact that the earl so obviously hates me and finds me unsuitable. Even though Lord Warren s comments hurt, they were no
more than I expected.
Then what s wrong? Jane eyed Emma levelly. Why are you having doubts, Em?
Michael says we must marry immediately. Within the month. Here. In England.
There. She d admitted what was bothering her the most, even though she was well aware how petty it must sound. But marrying a titled English gentleman at St.
Thomas Church in New York City had been her entire focus for so long, she couldn t imagine getting married any other way. This was what she d been born and bred for.
It was what her mother had wanted.
Jane stared at her for a long moment, then frowned. I m disappointed in you, Emma. You genuinely care for Michael, but you re willing to throw it all away because
he wants to marry you in London instead of New York?
You don t understand, Emma cried, desperate to justify her mother s wishes, terrified to admit how little she cared about a New York wedding. I ve been waiting
for this day my entire life.
Listen to yourself, Jane insisted. Your wedding will be a single day. Just one day. Whether it s wonderful or terrible, it has no bearing on your future happiness.
Michael is a good man. If you re determined to marry someone with a title, you couldn t possibly find anyone who ll treat you better. Who cares whether there are five
people at your wedding or five thousand?
You re right, Emma murmured. Jane had made everything her mother had wanted for her seem shallow and stupid. It would be foolish to sacrifice all her future
happiness for one shining, glorious day.
In truth, she d never really cared much about showing up her former rivals. She d only wanted to outdo them for her mother s sake. All Emma had ever truly wanted
was to find somewhere to belong, someone to love. But what if I give in to him on this and then Michael and I still can t make each other happy?
Jane smiled wanly. Well, if you decide to call off the engagement, let it be because of that. Not because you can t have the wedding ceremony in New York. She
yawned and kissed Emma lightly on the cheek. I m going to bed.
Goodnight. Emma let her head fall back against the sofa as she stared sightlessly at the ceiling. It was hard to admit, even to herself, that her mother s reasons for
insisting she marry a titled gentleman had been more about proving New York Society wrong than actual concern for her happiness.
The mere thought seemed treasonous disrespectful of her mother s memory but there it was, and it didn t want to go away.
Jane was absolutely right. No matter how much it hurt, it was time for Emma to step out of her mother s shadow and come to some serious decisions about her own
future.
****
Lucien staggered beneath the force of Michael s blow. He stumbled backward a few steps and shook his head, struggling to catch his breath. Christ, Sherbourne.
Are you trying to kill me?
Michael lowered his gloved fists and glared at his friend in frustration. You re not paying attention. That s twice I ve caught you off guard. What the hell are you
thinking about?
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